Recently it seems I’ve been remiss in noticing the awesomeness that is Miss Abigail bean. I always think she’s a cutie patootie and she provides frequent laughs in our family, but we’ve been spending the bulk of our time lately fighting. 

I read a fellow Examiner’s article the other day reminding parents the power of positivity. Specifically, speaking and responding to our children in a positive manner. Abby has taken to responding to things that don’t quite meet her fancy with yelling and seriously outspoken frustration. We talk a lot about using her words and it being okay to be frustrated, but handling it differently. Yes, I know she’s only three, but I want to start filling her ‘toolbox’ now. 

My realization(s)
I realize the way I respond when I’m frustrated is barely any better than how she reacts. It’s almost as if we’re feeding off each other. Hello! [knock, knock, knock] Adult…are you in there? My responses to her were coming off sharper than I intended - she’s my light, she deserves better. Not to mention a better example. 

So how can I expect her to use the tools I’m trying so hard to provide her if I don’t use them myself? I’ve made a conscious effort to watch how I say things to her - it’s amazing what tone can do to otherwise innocuous words. 

 Bedtime? No way! Bedtime has been an ongoing struggle for Abby and me. Throughout the summer we’ve grown lax with the actual bedtime. She’s taking issue to staying in bed and has become truly creative in finding reasons to be out of bed. By the end of the day I’m usually ready for us to have a break from each other - especially given our interactions of late. It’s amazing how much more smoothly things go when I choose to respond to her antics in a more positive manner. Take last night, for instance; at the point when tears would’ve been flowing and loud words would be exchanged, we were instead walking hand-in-hand back upstairs where she was happily tucked snuggly into bed dreaming away. Who wouldn’t melt, when at the bottom of the stairs, she instigated the hand holding with, “Let’s hold hands!” You bet sweet girl!

Rediscovering Abby’s Awesomeness
How completely fabulously adorable she looks when standing on her tippy toes. Her inquisitive mind. Reading books is incredibly extended as she wants to know details of every picture. --“Why that dinosaur have jammas?” “Why that dog in her bed?” “Why he crying…” (Me: he has owies). “Why? I don’ like owies. I got owie, I ‘cwied’ because it hurt.” [Image] Her need to have things just so. If she’s going to dance, she needs to turn on the music, she needs to be wearing certain types of clothes or dress up, mom should not participate until invited to do so and for pete’s sake, don’t sing! How she knows her colors, but delights in making mom think she doesn’t. Her incredibly cautious nature. I love that she’s a safety girl and even wants to wear knee and elbow pads when roller skating on the carpet. When she gets out of bed just one more time because she needs hugs. I want her in bed, but how do you say no to that? When she asks for just one more story by holding her index and thumb finger a bit apart and says, “Just a wittle bit, a wittle one?” Her giggle when you get in a tickle fest or she thinks she’s getting away with something. How she waffles back and forth in declaring her independence: “I a big girl!” to “Abby not big yet.” Her “Phoebe” run - so dubbed by my sister. Remember that Friend’s episode when Rachel is embarrassed to run with Phoebe because she’s so…Free when she runs? That’s Abby’s run. When I ask her what her name is she says: “Abby.” Abby what? “Ab-i-gail.” Abigail what? “Abigail bean.” Yep, but what’s your whole name? “Ab-i-gail ‘Cistine’ Stewart.” As always, I love her because she’s Abby and my very best girl.


*(Originally written/posted on August 15, 2010)

Tonight I realized I have the perfect sounding board living right under my own roof...One little miss Abigail bean. I've been working on writing some things for a children's magazine/publication. It's this magazine for babies and toddlers six months to two years, but it's made out of board book material and has no staples, so it's really and truly for the wee ones.

Ironically, my main concern in writing for such a publication was writing something truly kid focused and my ability to write something that wasn't totally lame not to mention accidentally poaching from the many, many children's books I've read over the years. Finally, I realized I was doing that whole self-sabotage-y negative self-talk before I'd ever even tried. As my mom has always said, "You never know until you try." The irony here, of course, is that I've always wanted to be a children's book author...Moral of the story: Man up, bust out the creative thinking, and do some writing!

Back to Abby - thus far she's given me only rave reviews, but children are famously honest so I'm thinking I've found my new go-to girl. Her first review was: "Read it again mom!" Guess I ought to get over the butterflies in my tum and send it off. Keep your fingers crossed for me!